Steve 'Flash' Juon“Southside Dummy” doesn’t have a single song longer than 150 seconds. The fact rappers make short songs and even shorter albums these days is such a trope that it’s fodder for comedy skits on TikTok and YouTube. While Soldier Kidd doesn’t have anything on his release as hilariously brief as this clip from RDC World 1, it’s not surprising that I thought of it while listening to him.
The other thing that immediately sprang to mind is Lil Wayne — or if you prefer Lil Weezy, Tunechi, Weezy F. Baby, or any of the other million things he calls himself. Soldier Kidd could not sound more like Dwayne Carter if Carter had ejaculated into a plastic cup 20 years ago, the seed had been implanted into a willing recipient, and after birth Carter raised the boy as his clone to replace him if he died. Kidd is reportedly from Miami but if you told me he was from New Orleans I wouldn’t doubt you for a second. Listen to “One Moe Time” and tell me I’m lying.
I don’t mind rappers having inspirations musically, stylistically or lyrically. The problem is that Weezy isn’t just Soldier Kidd’s inspiration — he’s his template. The singing, the pauses, the pronunciation, the emphasis on certain syllables, it’s all there. I kept expecting him to start singing “Rest in peace to the Cash Money Weezy, gone but not forgotten” during “Need U.” He might be slightly more raspy than Mr. Carter, but God damn, he’s uncannily close to being an exact copy.
So we’ve got two fundamental problems on “Southside Dummy” — Soldier Kidd doesn’t make songs long enough to vibe to, and he doesn’t do anything that we haven’t heard the person he’s cloned from do better. This is often the type of scenario where I get frustrated and start ripping on a rapper for not even trying, and though I fight hard to keep my ego in check I’ve been told it’s pretty entertaining when I unload on worthy targets. Unfortunately Soldier Kidd doesn’t inspire that kind of ire. At least he’s imitating somebody I like. If I close my eyes and stop paying close attention, I can imagine that I’m listening to a new Weezy mixtape. It’s not good enough to be a studio album or a major label release, but it’s not bad enough to turn off in disgust. This Kidd is merely a mediocre imitation of something better. He’s the generic knockoff of Rice Krispies.