Steve 'Flash' Juon“It sucks to be you, sucks to be you
Sucks to be you, sucks to be you”
When you can’t tell the difference between a parody of rap and the real thing, is there really a difference at all? That’s what I thought when I first heard Cal Scruby. Actually it would be more fair to say that’s what I thought when I first saw Cal Scruby, with his hair flowing in the video for “Let It Ride” in much the way it does on the cover of “Casino.” He leans out the passenger side window of his car to rap while somebody riding ahead of him films it with an iPhone or HD camera. It betrays that his cinematic ambitions exceed his rap ones, particularly given that “Sucks to Be You” literally picks up where the opening song and video left off. Scruby is looking Cincinnati, but feeling Cal-ifornia, oh yeah. He’s monotone rapping his way to the top in an “All White Foreign.”
According to his bio Scruby is actually from Lebanon, but that’s less than an hour’s drive from Cincy, so he’s probably still a Bengals or a Reds fan. Even if he doesn’t give a fuck about sports or his haters, “y’all too low on the list of the fucks I give” and all, it’s clear he gives a fuck about looking like he’s a made man. Whatever money he made in rap up until today, the first time Cal Scruby ever came to my attention, he spent it all on videos like “Lookin’ Like Jesus.” Perhaps from a rapper with a little more melanin I wouldn’t find this idea or the video so cringe. Marshall Mathers probably could have pulled it off though, with a twinkle in his eye to let you know he was just fucking around the whole time, but I believe Scruby is dead serious about his “look.”
Here’s a short list of things that don’t work for me about comparing yourself to Jesus outside of the obvious ones — Jesus was (at least in most standard gospels) a simple man, a man who eschewed worldly possessions, one who cared for the poor and downtrodden. He was not “clean” or “flossy” or “stunting on these hoes.” I’m not sure you could explain the different to Cal Scruby or that he would care. In fact if there was any controversy about it (the fact I hadn’t heard of him before today says otherwise) it would just be free publicity. That’s all image oriented rappers care about — whatever it takes to get people talking about them.
“You got the right to pop up in the comments
I got the right to not even acknowledge it” – “Captain America”
There it is. Scruby doesn’t care if you love or hate him just as long as you’re talking about him. If he deems you to be a hater he’ll just accept it as “engagement” and move on. The problem is none of this makes him an entertaining rapper. He got 808 Mafia to produce “Casino” and that’s a major coup and arguably the best part of the album. The trunk thumping, window shaking bass of tracks like “My Phone Died” is outstanding. It’s too bad that Cal Scruby raps over the beats with the vigor of someone who just drank three cups of lean and Sprite. Credit to Scruby though that he is in fact rapping and not singing or voice modulating. I just wish he didn’t sound so bored.
I tried like hell to fuck with Cal Scruby on this album but we’re not on the same page. Rappers do need a brand and an image to succeed and no one can ignore the reality of that situation, but it should serve to enhance an already interesting emcee rather than paper over the obvious flaws. Scruby is at best a competent emcee who hired a great production crew and filmed a bunch of expensive music videos to market it. Since I’m not a “hater” I’m going to acknowledge it’s working. He’s got a lot of views and is extending his reach far beyond his Ohio roots. I’m not a fan of his unenthusiastic flow and obsession with appearance over substance, but he’s doing well and will probably appreciate one more mention pushing his name closer to his ultimate goal.