Steve 'Flash' JuonHave you ever listened to a rapper so “Unorthodox” you were grateful their entire album was under ten minutes? Probably not. Your nickname isn’t Flash and your lifetime’s work isn’t listening to every rap release in existence. The good news for me is that I’ll never run out of new material to listen to. The bad news for me is that a lot of it will be like 645AR’s “Unorthodox EP.”
645AR certainly has his fans. He’s accumulated enough subscribers to get a plaque from YouTube and has at least one song with nearly 20 million views. Personally I suspect half of those views came from people who heard about his reputation as the “squeaky voice” rapper and just had to see if it was actually true. Some of them stuck around after that though and for 645AR that’s all that matters. He found an audience that was ready willing and able to take what he’s doing and roll with it, and he’s even toned down that “squeaky” shit quite a bit.
That means songs like “Stay Alert” are on the fringe of tolerable. Being under 90 seconds is a huge benefit, because 645 still sounds like he’s huffing lighter than air gases while spitting vocals into a mic with a cheese grater for a pop filter. He’s gone from “completely absurd” to “really weird.” Yes, it’s really weird to hear this guy brag about “getting bitches in a Coupe” on songs like “G Shock.” I’m sure he’s got just enough money to pull up in a really nice drop, but if his speaking voice is like his rap voice, those bitches are going to think he’s underage.
Despite how unbelievable it is, 645AR keeps swinging his lyrical dick around on tracks like “Warning Shot.” He brags about his foreign whips, declares himself “the chosen one, the only one” and seems convinced his random bars add up to a whole concept. The only thing that’s really right about the track is the instrumental. Nothing he says over it is memorable, imitable, noteworthy or interesting. He just walked into a studio without writing anything down or even memorizing a verse ahead of time, asked for a beat, spit some shit and left. This is the result.
I’ve already written four paragraphs about the “Unorthodox EP” so this last one evens the playing field at five to a side — five ‘graphs after five tracks. 645AR’s five exist to prove anyone can do anything and someone will pay attention. Mine exist to prove that I’m the sucker who did. Don’t repeat my mistake and let this review serve as a warning that the “Unorthodox EP” never needs to take up any portion of your day, week, month, year or life as a whole.