Steve 'Flash' JuonY’all know I do my homework when I listen to somebody for the first time. Therefore I know that Chris Crack is a heavy social media user with the following you’d expect from someone that active. I’m too introverted and too bad at playing the algorithm game to ever have his reach so I respect his hustle. I also know that he hails from Chicago’s Westside, but by the time “Pretty Niggas Only” came out he appears to have moved to Grand Junction, Colorado to escape the drama. I love the Chi with all my heart. All the sports teams I’m a fan of other than my alma mater are from there. The best hot dogs I have ever eaten are from there. I treasure the memory of trying Jeppson’s Malört (but not the taste). I can’t blame Chris Crack for moving though. The murder rated in the Windy City is just ridiculous.
What surprises me is how little Chris Crack sounds like Chicago OR Colorado. If you had asked me to identify his sound on “Gratitude Is the Cure” I would have pegged him as from the South, and from the interviews I’ve seen it seems like a lot of people had the same impression. He sounds like he would have fit side by side with Bun B and the late Pimp C (RIP Chad) on a U.G.K. track. “These people don’t see my vision” raps Crack on “Favorite People Turn Strangers,” and I’d love to see more of it myself, but the majority of his tracks clock in at under 90 seconds.
I suspect Chris is also a pro wrestling fan because of his pronouncement that “on Monday nights we go raw,” which could have just been a coincidence until I heard the voice of Jim Ross opening the song “Love Is a Lie.” Now if you’re a fan you know that he long since jumped ship from WWE to AEW, but he’s still “the voice of wrestling” to a lot of folks, so I’m always happy to hear him no matter who he calls the action for or where. If this is the biggest thing I got wrong about Chris Crack, my bad. If I got anything else wrong though he’s super active on socials as noted — I’m sure he’ll correct me for it.
Despite the short length of his songs, it’s hard to not enjoy the style and flamboyance of Mr. Crack on “Pretty Niggas Only.” There’s no shortage of pimping to his persona, and while some might tag him as a woman hater for it, to me it’s in the category of colorful storytelling and boastful exaggeration. He’s also funny as hell if you’re paying attention on songs like “Safe Sex Saves Money,” where he notes that “I was fed up — in tired emotions I tried devotion that’s Ginuwine (but) come ride my +Pony+.”
Chris has done what’s necessary to stand out from the field whether from Colorado or Chicago — come with a strong album and a strong identity behind it. The only major downside of “Pretty Niggas Only” is that you’ll finish it too fast and be left wanting more. That’s undoubtedly what Chris Crack intended. This album isn’t a main course, it’s just the appetizer.