Steve 'Flash' JuonLong before there was Latto, there was Marty. “Oh sugar honey iced tea!”
Now before any of you object to the math, I’ll explain exactly what I mean. Yes it’s true that Latto (Alyssa Michelle Stephens) was born in 1998, while the movie Madagascar came out in 2005, but I think it’s fairly self evident that Latto was not a rap star at seven years old. It’s not as if the phrase “sugar honey iced tea” didn’t exist in pop culture before Chris Rock said it, but the increasingly viral nature of the internet turned it into a meme. The continuing popularity comes from its substitution for a curse word in media, leading people to go “how did they get away with that” each time it appears someplace swearing would be deemed inappropriate. In short, it’s funny. The way Chris Rock says it is even funnier. There’s no doubt in my mind a pre-teen Alyssa saw this movie, but even if she hadn’t, she grew up in a culture that endlessly riffed on the phrase.
Now Latto knows a thing or two about going viral herself. The 60 million plus views for her “Big Energy” video only scratches the surface of how mainstream her “Genius of Love” sample-driven song went, with Latto herself acknowledging Mariah Carey in the hook by saying “I can be your +Fantasy+.” It was clever and fun and put Latto in the “household name” category. With “Sugar Honey Iced Tea” she’s attempting to keep that +energy+ going, but I’m not convinced the Coupe, Oz and Kid Masterpiece produced “Big Mama” has it. The new video may exceed the views of the old one given the camera’s obsession with Latto’s posterior, but the beat is as generically emo rap/AutoTune as they come and Latto’s energy (pun intended) matches it. Both her wordplay and her delivery of it are going through the motions. “What do I get for my birthday?” Girl, nothing. Let’s move on to something better.
Produced by Go Grizzly, Squat and Pooh Beatz, both the original “Put It On Da Floor” and the more popular remix featuring Cardi B (doubling the views of her “Big Energy” video) stand out in a field filled with female provocateurs. Even though the camera lens focuses on their assets, the bars from Latto are focused on her haters. “Laughin’ to the bank, but shit is not a joke/Say she got a problem? Imaginary smoke/Bitches said it’s up, then put it on the floor.” That’s exactly the level of swagger I’d expect. Whether she’s bragging about her sexual conquests, her financial success, or her popularity in the rap game, I expect Latto to cash a winning ticket with her singles. There’s no reason to sleepwalk her way through this stage of her career.
That’s why the Bankroll Got It “Sunday Service” is my favorite track on “Sugar Honey Iced Tea.” The bass thumps, the beat is crisp, and the barbs are sharp. “These bitches corny.” “Do you rap or do you tweet? Cause I can’t tell, get in the booth – bitch.” “Stop all that motherfucking yelling hoe.” You would be hard pressed to deny that her confidence in this song is top notch. Is it an example of sophisticated wordplay or clever punchlines? No. Sometimes attitude is what matters. If you can talk that shit like a boss and convince the listener you mean every word, you don’t have to win “Dopest Rhyme of the Month” from anybody. You have to believe in what you’re saying and Alyssa clearly does.
Regrettably a lot of the album sounds more like “Brokey” than “Sunday Service.” Latto sells herself short. “Cook, clean and fuck him right, I’m so heaven sent/What I look like asking him about another bitch?” Maybe she’s playing to young men with high T levels, but it still feels demeaning to see her “serving” other men instead of them “serving” her. “H&M” is worse: “I be submissive for you (daddy)/hold that pistol for you (daddy).” Seriously? I get that her pussy is a honey pot and she can trap any man she wants in it, but it’s still unsettling that a woman who once bragged that there “ain’t too many” men who could handle her suddenly seems so willing to capitulate to all of them. Then there’s the pitch corrected singing of tracks like “Copper Cove” that frankly I can’t fuck with at all.
I don’t know what you want from Latto, but this ain’t what I want at all. If she’s gonna take me to church, that’s fine with my non-worshiping ass, but if she’s going to sing in the choir I’m leaving. “Sugar Honey Iced Tea” has the cameos you’d expect from someone who has made it. Megan Thee Stallion is on “Squeeze,” Flo Milli is on the “Sunday Service” remix, Ciara is on “Good 2 You” and Young Nudy is on “Shrimp & Grits.” Out of these “Squeeze” is the most fun although Megan has so much more attitude than Latto it’s embarrassing. When something goes viral it should feel organic, fun, and driven by a younger audience. This album feels like “how do you do fellow kids” in rap form. It’s trying so hard to be slutty that it’s transparent in its aims and it robs Latto of the power she once had.