Steve 'Flash' JuonThere are days when I pore over the mountains of rap releases we haven’t covered, pick one at random, and find it so immediately off-putting I wish I could just tell you “This sucks. End of review.” Unfortunately I won’t allow myself to do that. Between the long time readers and the generous patrons who support RapReviews.com there’s a bond I respect. You give me a platform to write about rap music, something which has been a passion since my pre-teen years, and in return I give you detailed write ups about the artists I listen to. To start my review of “Witchtrap Vol. 1” is to say that I respect our audience enough to tell you why WitchGod is terrible in immaculate detail.
“You say you got money but, we don’t fucking care”
WitchGod likes to say “we” a lot, to the point an observant listener would ask “You and what fucking army?” Unless he has multiple personality disorder I don’t see much of a “we” here, and certainly not a royal “we” that royalty likes to use to imply their importance. Perhaps I should follow WitchGod’s example here, because WE ARE NOT AMUSED. Either the recording or the mastering of his vocals was poorly done, resulting in sub-audible lyrics that are made worse by excessive modulation effects. He tries to cultivate a horrorcore audience with piano sounds and terrified screams on “SEMI POP” and is not any better at being creepy than being an emo drill rapper. “Fuck around with us we gon’ do {?} just like the Taliban.” It’s so poorly mixed I genuinely don’t know what the missing word is, but it’s at least the answer to “you and what fucking army” — WG thinks he can run a whole country.
There are no shortage of things to find sus about “Witchtrap Vol. 1.” His hair looks like a home for rabid animals. He talks like he’s from ChiRaq when he’s more likely to be from Westport. You know what’s even funnier though? There’s a death metal band FROM CHICAGO named WitchGod. They should probably sue him for trademark infringement. They appear to be fairly obscure but their songs have more views than any single track from this rapper, and I like their energy more.
Let’s summarize all of the things wrong here. WitchGod is a delusional rapper who thinks he’s Legion when he’s not. He makes sub three minute songs where he vacillates between acting tough and being hopelessly “IN LOVE.” He’s not MF DOOM but he spells his songs in “ALL CAPS.” His singing is terrible but at least it disguises how vapid and empty his thoughts are lyrically. He acts like he’s already a made man when I had never heard a single song before this review, and judging by his view counts on YouTube nobody else had either. His sense of entitlement is grossly out of proportion to his talent, and last but not least he called this “Witchtrap Vol. 1” which implies a “Vol. 2” was necessary. It’s not.