Steve 'Flash' Juon“I can’t feel my body/I can’t feel my body
I took too much molly/swervin in a ‘Rari”
If you want deep philosophical thoughts Lil Pump is the wrong man to look to. If you want quality rap songs to party your ass off too, he’s still the wrong man. If you want anything resembling competent rhyme writing or microphone skills you’re asking for too much. Gazzy Fabio Garcia is best known for being dumb. His most famous song, the one with over a billion views, features him saying the same two words over and over. This is a rapper who proudly brags that he’s done so many drugs he has brain damage. Looking at him you don’t really need to be told that fact. At least it’s a visually distinctive style that makes him stand out. Is it good to look like Medusa dipped her hair in a box of crayons though? That’s for you to decide.
“You thought I was finished?”
No sir. I knew Lil Pump wasn’t finished when I heard about “Lil Pump 2.” This wasn’t something I asked for and I’m not sure who did. Given his level of fame/infamy you’d think this would drop on a major label, but even on Spotify it shows up as “under exclusive license to SoundCloud.” SoundCloud is a label now? That’s news to me. I don’t expect to see a physical version of this album though, and I don’t think anybody would care to own said same after listening to “Pump Rock x Heavy Metal.” It’s the kind of thing that happens when some confused soul thinks screaming and “heavy metal shit” are the same thing.
It almost goes without saying that Garcia’s lyrics are inane to the point of being an insult. I’m going to say it anyway though. “Crash the Porsche and I crash the Bentley/I’m crashin all type of whips/she suckin on me and the whole gang-gang, she suckin all type of dicks.” Wonderful. I’m so happy Lil Pump has the kind of money to buy six figure cars and destroy them without caring. I’m pleased he gets so much oral that he has to share the sloppy seconds with his friends. It might even be fascinating if you’re a new listener to hear him tell these tales the first time. As a fourth time listener who hears Pump repeat himself from one album to the next, while repeating himself on each album from one SONG to the next, it’s not fascinating at all.
“I don’t like to pay taxes but lil’ bitch I’m dumb rich”
At least with songs like “Gucci Gang” there was something to be said for catchy production and an imitable if vapid hook. The CBMIX produced “Mosh Pit” doesn’t even have that going for it. The bass hits hard but there’s nothing to go with it except for a handful of video game tones repeated on loop. I take that back — that’s insulting to Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis — because when I think of those consoles I hear songs better than this. The best thing about the track is it’s under two minutes long. At 2:08 “Splurgin” is at least a half minute more than you need to hear.
“She catchin my nut in the air just like Randy Moss”
First of all, that’s just gross to even imagine. Second of all update your NFL references. Moss retired over a decade ago. How about Tyreek Hill or Stefon Diggs? You can do better Pump. He’s lazy and drug-addled though. He doesn’t want to do better and he can bank off his prior success so he doesn’t even have to. Pump doesn’t have to work a day in his life for the rest of his life and after listening to “Lil Pump 2” I’d prefer it if he didn’t.